The office Holiday Party gift exchange. You know the drill. Everyone who wants to participate brings a wrapped gift to the conference room. Each person draws a number, and the festivities begin. In numerical sequence, gifts are selected. Gifts can be stolen, but a limited number of times before they are “dead,” and the final possessor is the owner.
Recently, the trend has been “white elephant” gift exchanges. No, you can’t go out and buy something. You have to bring something you already own, but is no longer useful to you. So it was at my office Holiday Party this year. With the all-important rule established: two steals and the third person in possession is the owner, we were ready to get the party started.
I never do well at these events, usually coming home with a gawdy picture frame or some “As Seen on TV” gadget that never works as advertised. Compounding the anxiety was the fact that I was the new guy in the office, having just started this job three weeks earlier. Still, these gift exchanges are always fun, and a great way to get to know my new coworkers, and superiors, in a more relaxed setting.
Numbers were drawn. The tension mounted as Number 1 scanned the table for some hidden gem. They say one person’s junk is another’s treasure. Would he score? Would his new prize possession be snatched from his fingers by Number 2, or some other “come-lately?” Selection made, Number 1 tore into the bag. A tacky vase. Delightful. Cue hilarity and excitement!
As so it went. Bags and boxes opened. Gifts stolen, then stolen again and deemed dead; the proud, final owner beaming with joy. Finally it came to me. I had drawn Number 13. Would 13 be lucky for me this time? Alas, this was a “white elephant” exchange. What were the chances that someone would deem wine “no longer useful?” With a sigh in my heart, but eager anticipation on my face, I reached in for the slender, rectangular box. Sure, it was the right size, but what are the odds? Besides, this was an office party and I didn’t yet know if this company had the dreaded “no alcohol on the premises” policy.
Tearing into the wrapping paper, I was stunned! What’s this I see? Johnnie Walker Blue Label? Really?? Had I just scored a nice bottle of Scotch? Naw, who would “white elephant” Scotch? Well, there are always a few who don’t get the memo and actually bring nice, new gifts. Fingers crossed, I lifted the lid.
For now.
With nearly 30 people participating, the chances of a steal were real and serious. Lots of my new coworkers were eyeballing my prize. They clearly didn’t know that they were staring down Kent-the-wine-blogger. We don’t call this “Appetite for Wine” for nothing!
Remember Number 1, the guy with the tacky vase? Well, Number 14 apparently has a thing for tacky vases, and right after my turn, stole it from Number 1. So immediately after the thrill of my victory, I suffered the agony of defeat as Number 1 deftly lifted my beloved InZINerator from my clutches. Curses! Foiled again.
Now faced with stealing or drawing, I selected another wrapped box. Nothing left remotely resembling the shape of a wine bottle, so I went for an unassuming square box. Ah, there it is…the “As Seen on TV” Chop Magic!
Now I love to cook, but I prefer slicing and dicing with my kitchen knives. I actually find it relaxing and cathartic. So this is how it’s going to be. Stuck with yet another gadget that I’ll never use. Seriously, who would steal this from me?
Around the room it went. With each new number, the dissatisfied masses held their gifts high, hoping to entice a steal. Nobody even took a second look at my Chop Magic. Until…wait…what? Number 23 took a liking and stole my chopper!
It was a Christmas miracle! The fates smiled on me that glorious day! Yes, the HR rep moderating the event confirmed that it is permissible to steal back a gift. Number 1, my wine if you please. And so it was over. I was the third and final owner of this cherished bottle.
Part of the Super Hero Wines line, InZINerator is produced by Scott Harvey Wines. Zinfandel is not known for age-worthiness, so honestly I was a little apprehensive about a 14 year old bottle. Fear not!
Ruby color with brick rim. Aromas of raspberry and plum with smoky notes. Flavors of ripe blackberry, stewed plum, raspberry, and baking spice, with notes of milk chocolate, white pepper, and vanilla. Tannins, as expected, are velvety soft and smooth, and the acidity is surprisingly bright. The finish lingers with blackberry, plum, and spice. Excellent!!
May the Spirit of Christmas shine bright on each of you.
Cheers!
- Text and photos by Kent Reynolds
- Holiday wishes by both Kent and Robyn
Appetite for Wine 
I have never heard of a White Elephant party before this year. It sounds like it is a lot fun. Especially if you get a gift like that! Congrats!
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It’s a lot of fun, even if you don’t score big! This year was special!
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